A is for April Fools’ Day #AtoZChallenge #NotAnAprilFools

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since I participated in the A-Z Challenge.  26 blog posts in one month.  And then eight posts in the next eleven months…EIGHT POSTS!!  No wonder I received the prestigious Least Prolific Blogger of the Year award for the third year running.

I’m a miserable sod so I’m not a huge fan of April Fools’ pranks or practical jokes in general.  At school we always did the ‘hilarious’ smearing Vaseline on the classroom door handle so the teacher couldn’t get in, or putting drawing pins on his chair.  Covering the loo seat in clingfilm.   That sort of thing.

I remember HWW once putting my alarm and all the clocks in the house forward so I arrived at work two hours early.  How I laughed.  Oh, hang on, I didn’t.

Some ‘classic’ jokes.

And some facts and stats from the Women’s Equality Party that are not jokes.

Last year, 5,700 new cases of female genital mutilation were reported in the UK #NotAnAprilFools
There are twice as many men named John who are CEO’s than there are women CEO’s #NotAnAprilFools
33% of 5-year-old girls want to be thinner #NotAnAprilFools
8 million UK women will be victims of domestic abuse in their lifetime #NotAnAprilFool
For every £1 men earn, women earn 81p #NotAnAprilFools
24 million UK women have faced sexism at work #NotAnAprilFools

Have you been pranked today??

Q is for Quite Amusing

My favourite genre of books, films and TV has to be comedy.  I’m not too fussed how silly, rude, offensive or highbrow it is, just as long as it’s funny.  I like funny one liners, long drawn out stories, limericks (not poems – bleh) and songs.  And I can forgive a lot in people if they have a sense of humour.   So, for today’s A-Z Challenge, which of these jokes tickles your fancy?  If you don’t like any of them, what’s your favourite joke?

Joke 1:

‘I’ve decided to sell my Hoover … well, it was just collecting dust.’

Joke 2:

Two packets of crisps were walking down the road when a car stopped.

‘Do you want a lift?’

‘No thanks, we’re Walkers…’

Joke 3:

Sandy and Bill are low on funds so they decide that Sandy should go on the game.   Later that night, Bill drops Sandy off at the docks.

‘How much should I charge?’ asks Sandy.

‘A hundred quid for all the way,’ says Bill.

Bill parks up round the corner and Sandy takes her pitch.  Pretty soon a guy in a beat-up old van stops and asks the price.

‘Hundred pounds.’

The guy says, ‘I’ve only got thirty. What’ll that get me?’

Sandy runs back to Bill and asks him.  ‘Tell him thirty pounds buys a hand job.’

So Sandy goes back to the guy and says he can get a hand job, take it or leave it.

He agrees and Sandy jumps in the van.  The guy unzips his trousers to reveal the most enormous trouser snake that Sandy has ever seen.

‘Whoa!  Hang on!’ gasps Sandy.  She jumps out of the van and runs back to Bill.

‘What now?’

‘Bill – can you lend this guy seventy pounds??’

 

Joke 1 – Tim Vine

Joke 3 – original David Mitchell, ‘Cloud Atlas’