Q is for Quite Amusing

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My favourite genre of books, films and TV has to be comedy.  I’m not too fussed how silly, rude, offensive or highbrow it is, just as long as it’s funny.  I like funny one liners, long drawn out stories, limericks (not poems – bleh) and songs.  And I can forgive a lot in people if they have a sense of humour.   So, for today’s A-Z Challenge, which of these jokes tickles your fancy?  If you don’t like any of them, what’s your favourite joke?

Joke 1:

‘I’ve decided to sell my Hoover … well, it was just collecting dust.’

Joke 2:

Two packets of crisps were walking down the road when a car stopped.

‘Do you want a lift?’

‘No thanks, we’re Walkers…’

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Joke 3:

Sandy and Bill are low on funds so they decide that Sandy should go on the game.   Later that night, Bill drops Sandy off at the docks.

‘How much should I charge?’ asks Sandy.

‘A hundred quid for all the way,’ says Bill.

Bill parks up round the corner and Sandy takes her pitch.  Pretty soon a guy in a beat-up old van stops and asks the price.

‘Hundred pounds.’

The guy says, ‘I’ve only got thirty. What’ll that get me?’

Sandy runs back to Bill and asks him.  ‘Tell him thirty pounds buys a hand job.’

So Sandy goes back to the guy and says he can get a hand job, take it or leave it.

He agrees and Sandy jumps in the van.  The guy unzips his trousers to reveal the most enormous trouser snake that Sandy has ever seen.

‘Whoa!  Hang on!’ gasps Sandy.  She jumps out of the van and runs back to Bill.

‘What now?’

‘Bill – can you lend this guy seventy pounds??’

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Joke 1 – Tim Vine

Joke 3 – original David Mitchell, ‘Cloud Atlas’

 

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23 thoughts on “Q is for Quite Amusing”

  1. Comedy is easily my favourite genre. I can’t predict what will make me laugh, but when it does, it’s magic 🙂
    Sometimes I can’t tell if the writer intended it to be funny, or if I just have an odd sense of humour.

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      1. omg – me too!

        I’ve actually had to learn to curb it a little especially around people who don’t know me very well. Even after 33 years of marriage, my husband can’t tell when I’m joking.
        I mean – can’t they tell by *what* I’m saying that it’s just a little to outrageous to be taken seriously?!!

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      1. I have remembered the one I heard recently! It is a bit silly, but it made me smile.

        A man goes into a Scottish baker’s shop. “How much is that cake?” he asks the baker.
        “That’s a poond” replies the baker.
        “And how much is that that one?”
        “A poond – all ma cakes are a poond!”
        “Oh okay, and what about that one?”
        “Ach, that one’s two poonds.”
        “Oh, why is that?”
        “Because that’s Madeira Cake!!”

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  2. Poems not funny? How about Pam Ayres? Okay, only funny in a cringeworthy way, but still funny.

    Favourite? I have to go with a Dave Allen special:

    You get the two English gentlemen talking to one another, and one of them says: ‘I passed your house yesterday.’ So the other one says: ‘Thank you.’

    Keith Channing A-Zing from http://keithkreates.com

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  3. The first one is my favorite. The third one was just – oh my…. =D The second one would probably be funny if I was British since I’m assuming that’s a kind of chips, I mean crisps. 🙂

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