Joan Rivers was famous for her age-defying plastic surgeries, self-deprecating humour and her sharp put-downs. And her cat interviewing skills.
I first discovered Joan at the age of fifteen, when I picked up a copy of The Life and Hard Times of Heidi Abromowitz. The highly entertaining, crude, offensive and non-pc ‘unauthorised biography’ of Joan’s former BFF: Heidi Abromowitz, the girl who couldn’t say no. This intimate profile disclosed Heidi’s deepest, darkest secrets and included the condensed version of Heidi’s unpublished bestseller, How to Make Love to Anything Anywhere. It would be fair to say that I learnt a lot from this book.
Joan wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea and offended many people but she was responsible for some fabulous one-liners:
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.
You know you’re getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
I once dated a guy so dumb, he couldn’t count to 21 unless he was naked.
And my all time favourite line, which I choose to read as a piece of advice that I’ve made it my life’s mission to stick to:
I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later, you have to start all over again.