Although in Rome, I enjoyed the life of a lady who lunches (or drinks cappuccino, at least), once back in England I needed to find work. As I have children, I wanted a job which offers flexible hours and time off in the holidays [Sure your poor work ethic didn’t have anything to do with it?? – Ed. Shut your face – Me].
Therefore, like 70% of the mums I know, I’ve ended up working in a school. Apparently, 1.5 million part-time workers are over-qualified for their jobs, with women worst affected. This totally applies to me. Even if I did full-time hours, my job would still pay less than half what I was earning fourteen years ago before having kids. Moral of the story?? DON’T TAKE A CAREER BREAK!! Or, at least don’t something that changes so drastically over the years that you can’t go back.
Anyway, part of my job is supervising the library. And the students that use it. So my day involves conversations like this:
‘Miss, Josh has drawn a penis on my book.’
‘Josh, don’t draw in Harry’s book.’
‘Miss, Harry’s lying! I didn’t draw a penis.’
‘Miss, look, here’s the penis.’
‘Yes, I can see it, thank you, Harry. Can’t you just rub it out?’
‘I haven’t got a rubber, Miss, so I can’t rub the penis out.’
‘Right, here’s a rubber. Just rub it out please.’
‘Miss! I’ve rubbed the penis out but you can still see it. He’s ruined my book with a penis.’
‘Harry, it’s fine. You can hardly see it.’
‘Miss, I didn’t even draw that penis.’
‘He did, Miss, he drew the penis.’
‘I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANYONE ELSE SAY THE WORD PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’
‘Miss?’
‘WHAT?’
‘You said penis.’
Ah, penises. More trouble than they’re worth.
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In so many different ways…
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Excellent story,thank you
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This is now my life…
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And all because of a penis! Oh, the irony…
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Indeed. Ironic Penis sounds like a great name for a band!
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Love it! Kids eh?
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Yeah, what you gonna do??
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At what point did you whack him over the head with a very big book??
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Hahaha, for some reason, they frown on that sort of thing!
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I’m so impressed that the kids used the correct anatomical term!
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I tend to turn a deaf ear to the unprintable ones!
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Delightful story. You can’t argue with that kids logic.
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Yes, maybe I should have given him house points for his cleverness!!
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Ha ha ha! I’m not sure boys ever grow out of finding penises/penis drawings funny. But it sounds like a very entertaining job at least! Never a dull, penis-less moment 🙂
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I should be so lucky! I told a girl off for bouncing a ball in the library last week. She said, ‘But, Miss, boys’ balls are always bouncing in here…’!!
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Eeek! You’re going to get endless blog material out of this haha!
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I giggled out-loud… though, to be fair, my 63-year old boy of a partner still giggles over things like that so they definitely never grow out of it!
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Nope, it’s always a sure fire way to get a cheap laugh!!
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Thanks for the giggle, sweetie! I can’t get my head around you being back in the UK again. My totally ungrown-up side is dying to jig up and down chanting ‘Penis’ over and over again, a bit like the “Jehovah” scene in The Life of Brian.
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Haven’t seen that film for (gulp) 30 years!!! Will have to revisit.
I can’t get my head around being back in the UK either; we’re all suffering from re-entry shock! x
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On the plus side, this job will give you plenty of material for future blog posts. 🙂
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I shall keep telling myself that when the kids are driving me mad!!
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Ahhh thats too funny.
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Thank you 😀
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Ha! Excellent story — I think you’ve got a winner here, full of clever humor😉
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Thank you. Sadly, it’s all true!
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Those are the best writers — those who can write from experience {either reality or from their unconscious dreams ;-)} – Bravo!
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