Hooray Hooray, It’s a Holi-Holiday

I’ve just got back from a week’s holiday Oop North, staying in places where Wi-fi is obviously just some crazy-assed technology from the future.  No Facebook, no emails, no news and no Big Bang Theory.  Did I miss much??  Quick Google search…nope, not a lot.

Organising holidays is so stressful.  Once I’m there, I’m fine but the planning and booking part turns me into Mrs Grouchy.  For this holiday, we stayed in four different locations in four different hotels.  Which meant four times longer than usual planning the holiday and doing one of my least favourite occupations: searching the internet for accommodation.

It’s even worse since the inception of websites like TripAdvisor and Booking.com.  I find a hotel or apartment that looks good, isn’t ridiculously expensive and has vacancies.  Excellent.  Then I look at the reviews.  It doesn’t matter that there are fifty great reviews, there will always be some guests that weren’t happy: The room was noisy; The bathroom was grubby; Breakfast was dreadful; The male escort I ordered didn’t look like his online profile…. And once I’ve read a bad review, I’ve gone off the hotel.  But finally, after several hours and plenty of ‘gentle’ discussion, we had booked four places: three of them turned out to be fabulous and the other was so-so.

Fawlty Towers
This is where I usually end up staying…

But once the accommodation’s sorted, that doesn’t mean that the pressure’s off.   Just like New Year’s Eve has to be the most awesome party night of the year (or in my twenties it did; now it’s all Baileys and board games), a holiday is expected to be the most relaxing, adventurous, spiritual week ever.  The location has to be stunning, the food fantastic and the local people welcoming.  Hmmm.  My holiday experiences have included:

  1. A severe case of the squits whilst stuck on a twelve-hour bus journey in Thailand…where the only ‘toilet’ was a bucket in the back of the bus.
  2. Erecting a tent in the dark after arriving late at a campsite in Florida, and waking up the next morning to discover an alligator sunning itself six feet away from the tent.
  3. Opening the bedroom window at a B&B in Weston-Super-Mud and having to cling on for dear life as the entire window frame fell out of the wall.
  4. A driving trip of the Australian Outback where our car windscreen was smashed by a rock thrown up by a passing road-train, the front wheel fell off as we navigated a roundabout, and, after a night sleeping under the stars in, literally, the back of beyond with no towns or houses for hundreds of miles, we awoke to find that someone had thrown up on the car bonnet.  Plus, on the same trip, we had our credit cards stolen.  The thieves used them to buy flights to Tasmania, which was particularly galling because we’d missed out Tasmania as we couldn’t afford the airfare.

However, apart from falling up a flight of concrete steps whilst giving my daughter a piggy-back, a few complaints about boring Italian food, breaking my sunglasses and getting stuck in the middle of hundreds of cyclists taking part in the Giro del Trentino on Lake Garda, this holiday really was wonderful.  Honesty.




28 thoughts on “Hooray Hooray, It’s a Holi-Holiday”

  1. I know how you feel, holidays a such an investment in time and money so you want it to be perfect. Mind you, not perfect always provides much better memories!


  2. So glad you had a lovely holiday! When I was reading I was thinking,’what about the time someone threw up on your bonnet?’ And there if was! Still makes me laugh. Xx


    1. For some reason, HWW has decided that if a place has 50 good reviews and 2 bad reviews, then the bad ones were left by Americans! Their standards are incredibly high so we can happily ignore them. His theory worked for 75% of the trip 😉


  3. Will there be photos of this trip, so that we can all get a taste for Oop North? My only experience of Italy so far is Venice but I am eager to explore it (Rome is on the cards for a long weekend before too long hopefully).


    1. Aw, thanks for your concern; I did incur a surprising amount of cuts and bruises, mainly in my attempts to stop my daughter hitting the ground! Nothing that a large Spritz (my new favourite drink) couldn’t put right 🙂


  4. I’m with you about searching and booking holidays! I’d nearly rather be at the dentist than planning an itinerary. I’ve found the solution though. I make sure I travel with a “planner” — someone who loves to plan as much as I loathe it. Each to our own strengths I say.

    Looking forward to your photos…I think. 🙂


    1. Unfortunately, HWW hates to plan holidays as much as I do! We’ve been on holiday with friends who love to plan and it’s great – just hand over the money and turn up! Actually, isn’t that how it used to be in the old days when we used travel agents?? 🙂


  5. Totally with you about going off places because of reviews – even though I try to persuade myself that the kind of people who go out of their way to post reviews are likely to also be on the fussy side, it still gives me the heebie jeebies.

    Weirdly enough, I had a frighteningly similar Australian trip… it even briefly made me question my deep and life long love for Jason Donovan. Briefly.


    1. Glad to hear your love for the great Jason was only briefly questioned. I always thought he was gay and it wasn’t until I read his autobiography that I discovered he was married with children. He actually came across as a really bonza bloke 🙂


      1. He does seem to be genuinely lovely! I once had a temp job working for his lawyers, so naturally I highly illegally nosed through his file to read his emails, and was giddy to discover that he was chilled out and friendly in them all. Long live the Jase.


  6. At least no one can say that you’re not adept at roughing it! I am usually the same stressed out traveler because I usually make too many plans and then freak out trying to make them all happen. So this year a week in Florida – all in the same spot! didnt make my bed for 7 days! – was the most relaxing thing ever!


    1. That does sound good! This is why I’d like a campervan so I can travel around but not have to constantly pack and repack…although I guess I might have to make my bed each day??


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