Word Up: A Happy New Year to all our readers…

Posted on by Barbed Words

So, after the compulsory Christmas over-indulgence, it’s time for a New Year change.  No more Ferrero Rocher for breakfast, Bucks Fizz at 10am or evenings snacking on crackers and cheese.  No more staying with family and friends, being offered cups of tea all day long, meals appearing out of nowhere and dishes miraculously cleaning themselves.  Now it’s back to grocery shopping, cooking, washing-up, cleaning and hoovering.  What could possibly be depressing about that?

New Year’s Resolutions:

Spend less time on the computer. I had a total break from email, blogs and the internet over Christmas, which was actually very relaxing and I’ve got to admit that I kinda didn’t miss it too much.

Spend more time writing novel.

Get fit/lose weight (got to have that one, it’s been on the list since 1989).

Be more positive.

Unfortunately, I’m going to break the last resolution immediately with a grouchy post about some of the annoying phrases that drive me bonkers.

Don't reach out to touch my base

Me Time – I’ve already mentioned this one but I don’t think it can be over emphasized how irritating it is; what’s wrong with just having some time?

Touch base/think outside the box/take it to the next level/blue-sky thinking – these were spouted all the time when I worked in marketing.  That might help explain why I hated 93% of the people there.  I refused to use any of them.  Could that also help to explain why I was made redundant?  Twice.  From the same company.

Reach out – as a synonym for making contact, eg ‘Please reach out if you need assistance.’  This is the favourite expression of HWW’s American employer.  Reading it ten times a day in emails is actually causing him to develop premature frown lines and a nervous twitch.

Happy dance – as in, ‘I just got a free muffin in Starbucks…happy dance!’  Really?

Calm down – my rage rises in direct proportion to the amount of times this is said to me.

It is what is it/it’s meant to be – why?  Says who?

I wear many different hats in my daily life – I actually saw this on a CV, which went straight in the bin.  Obviously.

I always give 110% – no, you don’t.  You cannot give more than 100%.  EVER.  And who gives 100% all the time anyway?  Certainly not at work. Another CV favourite.

Mumpreneur – ever heard of a Dadpreneur?  (Thanks to angels&urchins for that one)

I’m not being funny but… – I’m about to make a really bitchy comment.

Cheer up, it might never happen – how do you know??

Plus several others that I can’t list here because they are used on a daily basis by close friends and family… And now that I’ve got all that off my chest, I will (try to) be positive for the rest of 2014.

Any expressions that irritate you so much that you want to slap the user in the face with a damp dishcloth?

Published by Barbed Words

34 thoughts on “Word Up: A Happy New Year to all our readers…”

    1. A Mumpreneur is defined as: A mother who works as a business entrepreneur in addition to her family commitments. Often to be found on Grand Designs or interviewed in Femail magazine… Please don’t let me stop you happy dancing – it’s pretty low down my list of annoyances. But if you were to eat an apple in my presence, well, that’s a different story!

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            1. Yes, I’m sure the award winners will all be perfectly turned out in head-to-toe Boden and (clean) beautifully highlighted hair. Think I’ll just turn my award down this year… 😉

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  2. I’ve just looked up ‘blue sky thinking’. Have heard this hundreds of times before, but was never really sure what it meant. Aha. I think a friend of mine, who’s been trying to get her business off the ground for over a decade suffers from this illness.

    Now, what’s happened to me since I got to Spain is that I’ve started ranting at the radio and the TV (not that I switch it on very often). I am irked, in particular, by the overwhelmingly dreadful pronunciation of foreign (mainly English) words, which they insist on using.

    One that drove me mad before Christmas was some perfume ad, which featured the word ‘midnight’, the female voice keeps saying “meenai”. Where are the f***ing “d” and the f***ing “t”??? IS THIS SO HARD??? Did nobody tell you how to say this properly before making an ad destined for a national TV campaign? EVERYBODY involved thought this was OK? REALLY???? Evidently so.

    I used to laugh at my London flatmate for heckling at the radio… sigh.

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    1. Ha ha, I quite like it when people can’t speak a foreign language properly. We keep our sat-nav on the American voice, just to hear her pronounce the Italian street names so badly! And my favourite word for Italians to say is ‘hamburger’. Never fails to make me laugh 😉 (Check out Steve Martin in The Pink Panther remake for the ultimate in how to pronounce hamburger!)

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      1. LOL, I don’t mind when people get it wrong in conversations, etc, but in ads and when radio presenters do it on the news, it annoys me. How are ‘normal’ people supposed to know the correct way to say these words, when supposed ‘professionals’ can’t be bothered??? It’s not rocket science!
        Shall check out that vid 🙂

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        1. That’s very true. I rarely bother with the TV or radio here as everything is dubbed into Italian. The same voices pop up in different programmes, so one moment ‘Mario’ is being Homer in The Simpsons and the next he’s Jamie Oliver 😉

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  3. Mmmm, Ferrero Rocher – my favourites, but you are quite right that they shouldn’t be eaten for breakfast after the 1st of January (or maybe the 3rd, 4th, 5th… depending on how many you received for Christmas!).
    I agree with a lot of the phrases that irritate you – particularly ‘touch base’ and giving 110%. I have spent hours of time during Maths lessons explaining that there cannot be more then 100 percent because that means THE WHOLE THING! Grrrrrrr.

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    1. It really gets to you, doesn’t it? I used to sit in meetings, banging my head on the table, unable to believe that people could seriously use these expressions. I’m sure there are lots of new ones that I’ve never even heard of (and I really don’t want to!)

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  5. I prefer to slap people in the face with a brick wrapped in a sock 😉 Ugh, all of those horrible phrases brought back my advertising days! “We love it but…” ARGH!

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    1. I’m sure marketing and advertising must be two of the most prolific users (abusers?) of these phrases. Very glad to be out of it..although the money wouldn’t go amiss 😉

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      1. Tell me about it! (Is that another phrase?) I used to charge €120 an hour for freelance copywriting – a couple of weeks ago, I did a proofing job for 2 lats 😉

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  6. The funniest thing I ever heard whilst in Italy was a Tom Jones song, ‘what’s new pussycat’, sang by an Italian, it just didn’t work on any level! Which in itself is an annoying phrase, duhhhh….! And the translation into English of Italian house adverts causes me much amusement too. I read one recently that said, this house is dipped in the greenery, and is made for much pleasuring of the eye. Ha,ha! It’s a bit like my efforts at speaking Italian I would think!

    Jane x

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  7. Oh dear. I use quite a LOT of those. I will have to mind my language now, around you 🙂 Or bribe you with American food. I will tell you this: I am fully on board (you hate this one too, dont you?) with your disdain for ‘it is what it is’ and many-hat-wearing mumpreneurs (WTF?)!

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    1. If I’m being bribed with ribs, wings and fries, you can say anything you like around me! Basically, to tell you the truth, at the end of the day, if an expression has ever been said in a marketing meeting or by a professional footballer, I’m pretty much guaranteed to hate it 😉

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  8. Happy New Year! I’m glad to read you again 🙂 Totally agree on all of your hated phrases, especially ‘Mumpreneur” which is really, really discriminating! Unfortunately, I have several friends who proudly defines them Mumpreneur….

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    1. Oh dear, it’s definitely not an expression I’d ever use about myself…although this may be due to the fact that I’m not running a successful business, whilst also maintaining a beautiful House & Gardens featured home (or, indeed, doing either of those 😉 ) Happy New Year to you too!

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  9. I can’t bear to hear internet speak said in an actual conversation e.g. LOL, Epic Fail, #anything, YOLO etc etc However, I will make an exception for WTF 😉

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  10. Oh, just so many! Where do I start?? At the end of the day, fairly unique, I personally, at this moment in time. Wait, there’s more! Shouldn’t of, 24/7, it’s not rocket science/it’s not rocket salad. That’s a few off my chest!

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Anything to add?