Top Ten Tips for a Successful Week with Houseguests

Posted on by Barbed Words
  1. Refuse to let them through the front door until their bags have been searched for Bird’s Custard, Patak’s Curry Paste and trashy magazines
  2. Exhaust them by visiting every single tourist sight – insisting that walking between each one is the only way to get to know the real Rome
  3. Forbid anyone from ordering coffee at the tourist traps on the piazzas but take them to grubby locals’ bars where you can get a cappuccino for 90 cents
  4. Ensure they eat so much pizza each day that they will never visit Pizza Express again
  5. Stock up on copious amounts of prosecco, wine and beer so they spend the week in a blissful haze
  6. Force-feed them plates of lovingly prepared (i.e. stick it all on a plate) antipasti so they go home telling everyone what a fabulous cook you are
  7. Make so many comments about visitors who expect to be waited on hand and food, that they leap to their feet to get the washing-up done the second a meal is finished.
  8. Remind them at least once an hour not to step in dog poo (on the streets, not in the apartment…although, having said that, they did have to watch out for Beyoncé Bunny poo in the living room)
  9. Run compulsory Scrabble and Rummikub championships every night – ‘you will have fun, whether you like it or not‘…
  10. Be considerate enough to wait until they set off for the airport before you collapse with flu

2472-GUESTS-LIKE-FISH (Only joking…)

Published by Barbed Words

42 thoughts on “Top Ten Tips for a Successful Week with Houseguests”

  2. Oh, yeah. Loved this! Birds custard and Pataks’s curry paste offerings sounds suspiciously like what I expect (MM checks cupboard for her stash… oh, crap; no more Pataks…. must invite British guest round soon). I always offer to do the washing up, so I’m on the next flight to Rome. 🙂

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  3. I’m on my way! I promise extra-large stashes of goodies if you promise to ignore #7 – come on, it’s not like I don’t know where antipasti comes from 😛

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    1. That’s ok because Multifarious meanderings has offered to do the washing up so we can just sit back and enjoy the prosecco 😉 (Don’t worry MM, I’ll put Anna in charge of the bunny poop!)

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        1. Ha ha, those bunny droppings might be small but there were A LOT of them. (Ok, I’m going to admit defeat on this one; I’m not seriously going to argue that rabbit poops are bigger and stinkier than horse crap – unless there’s some giant bunny out there I haven’t seen yet??)

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  5. Looking good charging through the crowds in central Rome, your red umbrella held aloft whilst pointing out coffee shops and reciting their sit down / stand up cappuccino prices

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    1. Ha ha, my Mastermind specialist subject would be ‘Finding the best cappuccino in Rome for under a euro’ or maybe ‘How to spend less than three euros for lunch (including a beer…)’ 🙂

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  6. Ah, poor you – hope the flu wasn’t caused by the stress of looking after your guests all week? I love to have people to stay but it can be very draining – having to be jolly all the time, making sure you never run out of milk or bread, ensuring everyone has enough to eat and drink… I’m sure you always make your guests feel very welcome – the hostess with the mostess!

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    1. I’m think my flu was more likely caused by the large quantities of prosecco and wine that were doing their best to lower my defences 😦 As long as I get a hand with the dishes, I’m happy to cook and entertain…last week’s guests were awarded top marks in the Washing Up Stakes!

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  7. I can cope with doing the washing up and drinking prosecco – it’s the Scrabble tournaments I don’t think I could take! Would I be allowed to relax on the sofa and watch trashy Italian TV instead?

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Anything to add?